Thirty Nine Revolutions Around the Sun: The Story of My Life, in Moments.
On the eve of my 39th birthday, I sit bathed in the glow of the LCD screen of my computer, thinking of what to write. By even the most optimistic estimates, I have nearly clocked in half of the time allotted to me on earth, give or take a few years…It seems like a long time, but to me it went faster than a roller coaster ride.
I had heard this in a film, and for me it was nothing short of an epiphany. Life is lived in moments. When I look back upon my life, I do not recollect a homogenous train of events, seamlessly flowing like a gripping feature film, but rather like a carefully preserved photo album, with a few cherished moments which have given my life its present form. They are not all happy- they are proverbially and predictably: sweet and sour. How problems which seem insurmountable today, pale into insignificance tomorrow. Moments which have seen me fall hopelessly in love-and others which have seen me utterly shattered and heartbroken-but the triumph of life is that today, I regard both these memories with equal aloofness-the point is, they both belong in the past, and therefore irrelevant to my present. Life goes on…
Here then, is a summary of my life- not like an autobiography which painstakingly chronicles every smallest nuance of my existence, but rather like a sweeping overview of the few important moments which defined my life.
One of the first conscious memories I have of my childhood is when I was standing near the gates of my kindergarten class, -and most ironically- enviously looking at the children- few years elder to me, playing cricket and like: I very distinctly remember my thoughts: when I will I grow up to become BIG and strong like them? Today, what would I not give to shave a few years off my age? If only I knew then how much adulthood is overrated!
The moment of becoming a Doctor: After clearing what is arguably one of the toughest examination anywhere-India excels in tough examinations department–but more of that some other time-definitely qualifies as one of the proudest moments of my life-and I had at least three such moments till I became a cardiologist! The joy of having people’s life entrusted to you is a different high altogether-nothing even comes close!
The moment of falling in Love: one of the most magical moment of life. The merry go round of courtship, engagement culminating in marriage: predictable, commonplace, yet surprisingly unique experiences.
The most enriching moment of my life has to be the birth of my children. When I first held my son Avighna in my hand, the emotions going on in my head were indescribable…it is as if you are face to face with a younger
version of yourself. Indeed, the whole process of a child’s growth is an opportunity for the parents to relive their childhood vicariously..
Definitely, one of the defining moments in my life was when Avighna developed intestinal obstruction at two years of age. When the tables are turned, one gets to know the real plight of being a patient. Being helpless in front of the powers to be, and hoping that all will be well, certainly seems harder to accept and believe on the other side. It also clarified another thing for me: the strongest love in this world is that of a parent towards their child. I have never felt a stronger and purer form of love.
The joy of saving a life: In a successful cardiologist’s life, there are many highpoints. Being invited to talk on national and international forums, prizes, awards, gifts, honours-the list is endless..but for me, nothing quite cuts it like saving the life of a nearly unsalvageable patient. Very early in my professional career, I had realized that the joy of saving a life far surpasses these artificial achievements. It is a feeling, which is both empowering and humbling at the same time. So there-throw in a few of those moments for good measure.
So, that’s my life till now-in moments.
Andre Aggasi had once famously remarked how he forgot about all the pain, all the the hardships and restrictions he had followed for years, when he held the Wimbeldon cup above his head. Life is like that: it takes payment in years, and gives rewards in moments. But funnily, these moments make the years of efforts worthwhile.
A beautiful film, “Click”, tells the story of a man, who finds a “Universal Remote” which can fast forward the dull, and boring moments of his life. He figures that if he can remove or fast forward these moments, he could effectively cruise from one happy moment to the next. Sadly, he discovers to his peril, that once these “dull” and ‘‘boring’’ moments are ignored, his life is a mess. Happiness can not exist in isolation-because it is impossible to predict which moment in life can cause bonding, love, gratitude, friendships…and once these are bypassed, happiness is a distant dream. Most of us live our lives with an eye towards some milestone or other. But what most of us do not realize is life is not about destinations, it is about the journey-and unless the journey is enjoyed, destinations are meaningless.
…And so begins the journey of the next phase of my life. The quest to find the few golden moments which will define the next stage of my life. The few moments which would amply reward me for going through a lifetime of drudgery. The few moments so beautifully camouflaged into the ‘routine’ and the ‘boring’. Moments which lend meaning to life. Moments which transport us to that magical and happy place where tears and smiles co exist…
